It takes a lot of effort to build a good friendship, but by following some good relationship advice, it can work. Some people say, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the proper connection.”
Vaivaihealth is a reader-supported website and this post contains affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, we will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the links and finalize a purchase. Learn more!
Table of Contents
Relationship Advice For Troubled Relationships
It takes a lot of effort to build a good friendship. Some people say, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the proper connection.“ This isn’t true, any more than it isn’t true that you don’t have to work hard to maintain good physical health thru exercise, proper nutrition, and stress management.

An experienced friend with 35 years of counseling couples discovered six choices that can not only improve your relationship but also change a failed partnership into a successful one.
Here Are The 7 Tips For Troubled Relationships
#1 Relationship Advice
TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
The most crucial decision you can make to enhance your relationship is to do so. This entails learning how to be accountable for your own emotions and desires. This implies that rather than relying on your spouse to make you happy and secure, you teach yourself how to do so thru your actions and feelings.
Instead of self-judgment, learn to treat yourself with kindness, care, compassion, and acceptance. No matter how well your partner treats you, self-judgment will always make you feel sad and insecure.
Instead of getting angry at your spouse for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not responding to you, not sexually turned on, and so on, you may investigate your feelings of abandonment.
Therefore, figure out how you might be abandoning yourself. If you have a troubled relationship, you need to take this into consideration.

You stop blaming your partner for your problems when you learn to take full, 100 percent responsibility for yourself. Because blaming one’s spouse for one’s unhappiness is the leading cause of relationship difficulties, knowing how to take loving care of oneself is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship.
#2 Relationship Advice
ACCEPTANCE, COMPASSION, AND KINDNESS
Treat others as you would like to be treated. This is what it means to live a truly spiritual life. We all want to be loved and treated with kindness, understanding, and acceptance.
We need to treat ourselves in this manner, as well as our partners and others. Relationships develop when both parties treat each other with kindness.
While there are no certainties, treating others with compassion often results in reciprocal kindness. If your partner is consistently furious, judgmental, indifferent, and cruel, instead of reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance, focus on what would be loving for yourself.
Empathy for someone else does not imply self-sacrifice. Always remember that the most essential thing you can do is take responsibility for yourself instead of condemning others.
If you constantly treat yourself and your partner with kindness, and your partner is regularly angry, blaming, withdrawn, and unavailable, you must either accept a distant relationship or leave it. You can only change yourself; you can’t make your partner change.
#3 Relationship Advice
RATHER THAN CONTROLLING, LEARNING
When conflict arises, you have two options for dealing with it: you can be open to learning more about yourself and your partner and uncovering the disagreement’s core roots, or you can try to win, or at the very least avoid losing, by engaging in some sort of dominating behavior.
Rage, blame, criticism, politeness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, clarifying, educating, defending, lying, denying, and so on are just a few of the overt and subtle methods we’ve learned to use to get others to behave the way we want.
All of our attempts to exert control only serve to exacerbate the problem. It’s critical to remember to learn rather than control when working on your relationship.
The fear of abandonment—of losing the other—and the fear of engulfment—of losing oneself—are two fundamental fears that most people experience that becomes triggered in relationships. When these fears are triggered, most people instantly use their self-controlling behavior to defend themselves.
Your fears would gradually heal if you chose to learn about your fears rather than attempt to control your partner. By learning instead of commanding, we can grow emotionally and spiritually.
#4 Relationship Advice
DATE TIMES MUST BE CREATED
When people fall in love for the first time, they make time for each other. Then they get busy, especially after being married. Relationships require time to flourish. Setting aside certain times to be together – to chat, play, and make love – is critical. Without spending time together, intimacy cannot be maintained.
#5 Relationship Advice
INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS, EXPRESS GRATITUDE
When two people have an “attitude of gratitude,” positive energy flows between them. Constant whining emits a heavy, negative aura that is unpleasant to be around. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, embrace becoming appreciative of what you do have.
Complaints cause stress, whereas thankfulness brings inner serenity. As a result, gratitude promotes not just emotional and relationship health but also physical health.
#6 Relationship Advice
PLAY AND HAVE PLEASURE
“Work without pleasure makes Joe a dull boy,” we’ve all heard before. Work without play leads to stale relationships. When people laugh and play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life, relationships grow.
Stop taking yourself too seriously and learn to laugh at yourself. When there is a sense of lightness in one’s being, intimacy blossoms, not when everything is weighty.
#7 Relationship Advice
HELP OTHERS
Doing volunteer projects together is a great approach to building intimacy. Giving to others warms the heart and brings great joy to the soul. Serving others helps you get out of your head and into a broader, more spiritual perspective on life.
You’ll be shocked at how much better your troubled relationship will be if you and your partner agree on these 6 relationship advice!